reality

Well, I guess we have a doctor. I felt comfortable with her, certainly enough for now. I suppose the real test of any doctor is what they do when something changes, but there's no way to know that in advance. For now, though, this is fine.

I haven't gotten any temp work yet. There's something likely for next week, so I'm trying to enjoy my freedom while I can - swimming, reading, taking Cody to the off-leash park. I am dreading temping, with a fervor out of all logical proportion. I know it will be fine. I do. But I have a completely sick dread of it anyway.

I think the full effects of losing my great writing gig is just hitting home. When I wrote the first manuscript, I was under such enormous pressure - moving preparations, Buster's illness, saying goodbye to friends and family in New York, and still working my weekend job. I sometimes felt on the verge of exploding. (Indeed, I did have at least one full-scale panic attack.)

Even under those difficult conditions, I enjoyed the work. I was so looking forward to writing the next manuscript under greatly improved circumstances - without a day job, working away in our cozy little house near the lake.

But no.

Believe me, I'm well aware that I have little to complain about in the larger sense. My non-writing work is always in demand, so there's little danger of serious financial crisis. And I still have writing work I enjoy, it just doesn't pay enough to live on. My working life will return to what it's usually been - part word processing, part writing. It was just savouring that taste of full-time writing, then having it snatched away, that sucks.

I'm off to enjoy my day. For those interested, a long discussion about censorship and so-called obscenity laws is going on here.

Comments

  1. hemlock15 February 2006 at 05:50

    Isn't it interesting how a slight change in your employment can cause such a shift in the rest of your life??

    It's hardly the same as what you're going through, but a few years ago I got sucked into a brutal depression as a result of my employment ending. It's not that I was depressed about my job ending, but that I had time to focus on things I really didn't like about my life at that time.

    It's tough.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wrye15 February 2006 at 06:42

    That "sick dread" is what we northerners call February. It'll be over soon. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. laura k15 February 2006 at 06:47

    Isn't it interesting how a slight change in your employment can cause such a shift in the rest of your life??

    It is. Work takes up a huge chunk of our lives. When work sucks, it's hard to be happy. (In general. That's not me right now.)

    That "sick dread" is what we northerners call February. It'll be over soon. :)

    :D

    I could use some sunshine, for sure. I feel that way in NYC in Feb, too. Enough with gray skies already.

    ReplyDelete
  4. David Cho15 February 2006 at 20:25

    I wish you the best. I hear that it's difficult for non-Candian citizens to get jobs. Is that true?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Echomouse15 February 2006 at 21:19

    I am very glad you found a doctor :) I'm also very happy that you found some temp work :)

    Things can only go up from here ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. amanda16 February 2006 at 02:59

    Good luck. Bright side? Maybe you'll meet some new buddies in your new town. Some of my best friends in the world are people I've met at work.

    ReplyDelete
  7. laura k16 February 2006 at 05:39

    Thanks everybody. I haven't actually gotten the temp work yet... but I'm sure I will, at some point.

    As for bright sides, the bright side is that I'll be able to pay my bills and live my life. I'm long past the point where I need work to meet new people, especially work out of my field. But it's true that I've met excellent friends through work ove the years, so you never know.

    I hear that it's difficult for non-Candian citizens to get jobs. Is that true?

    No one asks about citizenship. We're legal to work in Canada - that's what the whole long immigration process was about. Perhaps what you heard about is people who are not here legally? I don't know.

    Canada is so full of immigrants, and needs to be because of its declining population, I can't imagine why citizenship would be an issue.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

sharia

This morning I see that Dalton McGuinty, Premier of Ontario, is banning the Muslim religious court known as sharia . This ends months of debate about whether sharia would be legal and binding in Ontario. I'm quoting at length from the story in today's Toronto Star because many US readers are likely not up on this. In a surprise announcement that caught both supporters and opponents of sharia law off guard, Premier Dalton McGuinty says he will move quickly to ban all religious arbitration in the province. McGuinty made the announcement in a telephone interview with The Canadian Press yesterday after months of debate and controversy surrounding use of Islamic sharia law in family arbitration. "I've come to the conclusion that the debate has gone on long enough," the premier told the news agency. "There will be no sharia law in Ontario. There will be no religious arbitration in Ontario. There will be one law for all Ontarians." The announcement prompted t...
Read more

can of worms

I'm opening a sticky subject here, my need to understand causing me to throw caution to the wind. It's about Alberta. Alberta vs. the rest of the Canada. The Globe And Mail runs something about Alberta's gripes every day, and I try to follow along. If it weren't for wmtc's resident Albertan , and the ensuing arguments in comments, I would've had no warning. It's not something Americans know about. As is, observing for more than a year, I have only the smallest of clues. Here's what I know. Please pardon my ignorance and oversimplification, but I have to start somewhere. The province of Alberta is rich, because it has oil. The province of Alberta is conservative, relative to the rest of Canada. Hmm. Funny how those two go together. Because of its great oil wealth, Alberta revenue helps fund services in the rest of Canada. (These are transfer payments?) Apparently many Albertans resent this. They want to keep Alberta's money in Alberta. They don't...
Read more

low confidence

I'm excited about today's no-confidence vote . Only three months after moving here, we'll get to see a government fall, a campaign, and an election, in a system very different from what we're accustomed to. Even the expression "the government will fall" strikes us as oddly dramatic and revolutionary. My sense of current Canadian politics, for what it's worth, tells me that very little will change from the upcoming election. I'd be surprised if the Liberals didn't win. So it's kind of cool to see this happening without a lot at stake. On a semi-tangential note, have I mentioned I'm completely down with "Corner Gas"? Excellent show; I love the deadpan humour. (Great website, too; check it out .) So was that really Finance Minister Ralph Goodale ragging on Brent Butt's camera last Saturday night?
Read more